Hoopty-ize

A little note about this post: originally written on January 4, 2005, it has been wandering around on the internet, lost for the better part of two weeks. Until today, when I found it meandering around in the north forty. Just when you thought that Molly Murphy didn't have any adventures over the holidays... Back to our previously scheduled programming:

So, our Christmas celebrations went off without a hitch. Well, almost. Upon arriving in country, a lot of soldiers sans transportation will purchase what is affectionately referred to as a "hoopty"...I'm sure a lot of you reading this are nodding in acknowledgement. M. is among this group, having procured a lovely late 90's BMW M5 from a guy who we're pretty sure was formerly part of the Russian mafia. That's the word on the street, anyway. But I digress. Anyway, M. got some wheels. Sweeeeeet. And the car that he found actually looks pretty nice too. Which brings me to the hitch part of the holiday weekend. We decided to spend Christmas night making/eating dinner with a few friends that we've made since arriving, and friends of friends, and so on. So, after gathering at the first stop of the evening, the home of a signal battalion friend we've made (a girl who is also western South Dakotan-born-and raised: yay! I'm finally not alone!) we did a little last minute food prep before piling into aforementioned South Dakotan-friend's BMW to head to our ultimate dinner destination, the home of yet another newcomer to Germany. Anyway, as soon as the food prep was finished, we packed everything up and all five of us piled into the car. At this point I should probably also add that all of the cars driven by friends to this house are parked side-by-side with our hostesses' in the barnyard that serves as her, uh, front entry. You've just got to love the German countryside. Anyhoo, we're all chattering away, excited about Christmas, and the night ahead when our hostess puts the key in the ignition and throws the car in reverse. With lightning fast speed, she proceeds to simultaneously give the wheel a hard crank to the left and stomp on the accelerator....hard. You guessed it: Whammo! She smacks right into the broadside of M.'s car. Yes, my friends, if you want to kill a party, load everyone into your car, put the key in the ignition and then proceed to drive it directly into a parked vehicle, the car preferably being owned by the person riding shotgun. Which is, conveniently enough, where M. was sitting at the time. Now this, this is not good. So, our hostess, flustered as can be says, "I can't really see what happened..." proceeds to put the car in first and DRIVES FORWARD running back into the car A SECOND TIME! Oh, good grief! Now this takes the REALLY NO GOOD CAKE, people! Here's the really hard to believe part: up until this point in the story, there was absolutely no drinking involved! Scary, but absolutely true! So, we piled out of the car to survey the damage. We were all standing there, when a buddy of M.s' and mine from San Antonio breaks the awkward silence with the following: "Well, at least it was just a hoopty." To which we all looked glared back at him and said, "Oh NOW it's a hoopty!" Poor M.! Anyway, to his credit, he bucked up and put on a very convincing party face. So, despite the damper that property damage seems to always throw on a party, we managed to have a really good time despite the, uh, bump in the road! Or in the barnyard, as the case may be. And the rest of the holidays, well, they went off without a hitch! Hope you had a good holiday season, too!