The Perils of Swimming au Naturel!

Among my colleagues this year was a dentist, Dr. D. She's German, but has worked for the Army for many years. She was very gracious after we arrived, taking M. and I on a walking tour of the city this spring...that lasted for 7 hours. This will probably make more sense if I tell you a little bit more about Dr. D: despite having just turned 65, she's a devoted half-marathoner and an all-around fitness enthusiast. Okay, so it was no surprise when at a clinic picnic this summer, she mentions that she likes to do lap swimming at a lake near her apartment complex in the center of town. The surprise part? She's prefers to do her laps in the buff. Another clinic employee says, "Well, Dr. D., when you have a body like yours, you can do that...I would never!" She's German, she explained. "Bathing suits? Unnecessary!" We laughed, embarassed of our American-ness, our attachment to bathing suits, and well, modesty in general. But then she said, "Well, would you like to know something funny that did happen once?" Dr. D. says she has a routine: she gets up early in the morning, leaves her apartment building and walks though town to the lake. There are lots of trees near the swimming area, so she just piles her sweatsuit and keys on one of the large rocks near the water and starts her workout. So, she's done this routine for months. Until one day last year, when she hopped out of the lake to find...that someone had relieved her of her clothing! Thaaaat's right! Her neatly folded sweatsuit? Right: no longer in its place on the rock. How considerate, though: the thief had left her housekey in its place! At this point, we're absolutely in hysterics listenting to our sweet colleague, Ms. 65-year-old Dr. D. tell this story. At which point, I decided to ask the obvious and I said, "Well, Dr. D., what did you do?!" She said that, well, there wasn't much she could do, so she just grabbed her house key and took off as fast as she go running stark raving naked, mind you, through greater midtown of our lovely city! Wow! Between peals of laughter, somebody managed to say, "How awful!" She replied, "Well, ja, but can you imagine if I would've had to take the strassenbahn (streetcar) to get home?! And where would I have kept my money?!" Oh. Well, yes: naked on the streetcar. Now that might have required some explanation...even in Germany!