An Open Letter

To the guy who hit my car and ran in Strasbourg, France, earlier today:

You hit my parked car so hard that it cracked the bumper and knocked the tailpipe off my brand new muffler loose, causing it to rub against the displaced bumper. You may have figured, "Well, it doesn't matter, they won't notice..." Yeah, that's true, jerk: I didn't notice the damage...until the tailpipe, hot from driving, had caused even MORE damage to what was left of the bumper, which is now in pretty bad shape, thanks to you. Yeah, smarty: you sure got away with it: I didn't notice the damage in time to call the gendarmes, or the polizei, and by then, you were loooong gone. Yes, yes: you got away with it. Or did you? I have no idea who you are, if you are French, or German. I guess insensitivity and negligence knows no nationality. All I can suggest, to you, friend, is that you hit up freetranslation.com and find out how to say "karma" in French. And have a nice day. Hit-and-run is such a nice crime, isn't it?

Sincerely,
Your American Neighbor

Praha or Bust!

Made a quick trip to Prague over the end of last week and the weekend! I actually drove myself over there and back... craziness! I still remember the day when I wasn't allowed to drive to the mall alone, let alone to the Czech Republic! So, that in and of itself was an adventure, but aided my GPS system, the drive was about 5 hours door-to-door...it's just surreal, though, to be on a road trip where I needed to have my passport lying on the passenger seat next to me! And even more surreal when the owner of the hotel asked me where I was from. I told her, "America." She gave me a quizzical look and said, "And you drove? All the way from America?" It made me laugh, and to be honest, that actually wasn't the last time I was asked that question during the my trip! I wish the trip had been for vacation alone, but instead, work-related things were the order of the day...but that isn't all bad either, as I'll take any excuse to go back to Prague! I hadn't been there in nearly eight years, but, amazingly, so many things hadn't changed....and the city is still as beautiful as ever! And I can thank the quad- and calf-pounding cobblestone streets (and hills!) for helping me justify skipping a few workouts while I was there! It rained on my first night there, but it cleared up the next day and was a good weekend! Hope yours was, too!

The Best Husband Ever.

The date: January 2, 2006. The place: Boston's Logan International Airport. The event: my beloved iPod meets its waterloo, battery-death style. That's right, after several consecutive years of constant overuse, my trusty, old, first-generation iPod bit the dust in Boston en route to Frankfurt. Maybe it was loaning it to the 10 year old sitting next to me for the duration of the flight that pushed it over the edge? Or maybe it was the fact that it was 5 years old! Whatever the cause, my iPod was kaput. My original iPod was a gift. and it was also probably the single most expensive luxury-type item I'd owned up until then. And I loved it. But, after it died, I couldn't bring myself to replace it, for whatever reason. I hemmed, I hawed, I considered cheaper non-iPod MP3 players. Nothing seemed quite as good, but the iPod seemed, well, a little over-indulgent. You can live without 1,000 songs at your fingertips, right? And the hemming and hawing continued, as fate would have it, into the beginning of this week. On Sunday, I went to an American store in Wiesbaden that has several models and ogled them through the glass case. I shopped, I compared, but I wasn't not able to bring myself to buy one. Not yet. Then yesterday, preparing for my upcoming road trip to Prague, I was really wishing that I had one, as I realized that there was no way I was going to be burning CDs to listen to on the 5 hour car ride between then and my departure on Wednesday. Oh well, I thought: there's always German radio! And then finally, today, I got in line to pick up my packages at the CMR. The female soldier in front of me was playing with a shiny new iPod, talking to her friends about how much she liked it. I sighed and for the third time this week, thought, "Boy, I really do want one of those..." Putting the thought aside, I walked up to the counter as the soldier collected her mail and walked away, and what do you know: the "getcher mail done!" guy hands me a box, and there on the customs form under "Contents" are the words "iPod: white (1)." I. Could. Not. Believe it. Inside, were two wrapped presents...containing a new iPod and the accessories for my trip. And that is just one more reason why I have the best husband ever. Thank you, thank you M.: you really are the best! Mwah!

Surfboards in Munich? Yes!

Just back from our bike trip to Munich for Fruhlingsfest! It was a quick trip, but definitely a lot of fun! Riding with a gaggle of other Army officers on mountain bikes, visiting a looong list of beer gardens by bike was a task that got significantly more difficult and dare-devilish with each liter of beer we consumed! Our first stop of the day was the park near the Thalkirchen campground, which is where we saw the folks with surfboards making the most of a quick current just before the bridge in the park. Then, we rode through the city to the Hofbrauhaus, quickly followed by a short photo op at the Marienplatz. Afterward, we pedaled out to the largest beer garden in the world...and the serious drinking began, and my memory of exactly where we went and how we got there stops! We visited oh, probably 5 beer gardens in all that day winding things up at the fest-tent at the fairgrounds where they hold Oktoberfest. There were lots of other highlights of the trip too, including dodging more shamefully naked badminton players than I've ever encountered before (I kid you not!) And of course there were lowlights on the trip, as well, which are almost as good as the highlights! The incidents and accidents that happened along the way fell, in general, into one of the following three categories: 1) dangerous stuff, or 2) funny stuff, but most commonly, the lowlights were 3) stuff that was both funny AND dangerous! (Ooh! Intrigue!) The lowlights included the following sample of events: my fellow captain running into the back of a parked SUV. (Ooh! Dangerous! But still funny!) Another one? Yes, as we were emerging from the U-Bahn stop at 12:30 AM on our way home, another member of the group (rank ...no trouble from the Dept. of the Army for me!) fell IN SLOW MOTION backward down the escalator...he wound up riding the rest of the way up the escalator UNDERNEATH his bike. (No serious injuries=funny!) Aforementioned Captain, slowing down too much on his bike next to a hedge on a Munich city street. Uh, huh! This resulted in him falling over SIDEWAYS into hedge, still clinging to his bike as though riding, which required his wife to pull him AND his bike out of the bushes! Ohhhh noooo... All in all, though, it was a really good time and a good official kickoff for spring!

Oh for PETE'S SAKE!

Our mail here is distributed via the Community Mail Room on post, otherwise known as the CMR. It also has a three-digit number after the CMR designator, which for privacy reasons, I won't disclose here, but I will tell you that the last digit is a one. Why is that important? Oh, because one of the CMR employees will greet you by yelling this clever little ditty every time you go up to the counter to get your mail. It goes a little sumthin' like this: [employee yelling at top volume] "Welcome to CMR 1-We Getch Yer Mail DONE! How are you today, MA'AM?!" A serious amount of pride at our mailroom, I guess! Or enough to justify a daily dose of rhyme and shouting, anyway. Okay, so I arrived at out mailroom today to be greeted by a brand-new sign above the door proclaiming the "we getcher mail done" status of CMR one, the familiar rhymed greeting yelled in my general direction...and a much-taller-than normal stack of cards and letters. Hefting the pile of mail from the counter, to the salute of "Welcome to CMR 431..." being delieverd to the next customer in line, I thought, "Huh...that's odd!" So, I opened the first piece of mail: a card from an OBC classmate of M.'s and mine, and inside was a lovely Christmas photo of he and his wife in front of their fireplace in North Carolina, and I thought, "Oh, those jokers, sending it in May: too cute!" Next, I opened a holiday letter from my cousin in Seattle. And I was like, "Wow! TWO funny guys! And how amazing: both of their letters arrived on the same day! Well howdya like that?!" Next? Uh-huh. A picture of my nieces in Georgia...posing with Santa Claus. If you can believe this, I received a batch of mail a foot high today, ALL of it with postmarks from 13th to the 19th of December 2005. Oh, and thanks USPS: my December cell phone bill....justa lil' late there, guys. One suggestion: a little less time spent makin' up the rhymes, a little more time sortin' the mail. Just a thought....and the funny just never stops, people! Actually, it's stuff like this that DOES make me laugh! Hope your Monday is going well wherever you are, and Happy May Day!